We’ve all seen it. The posts on social media where people take pictures, videos and whatever type of available media with their significant other. Sometimes it can be sweet, a public display of affection for all of their followers to see. A walk through Central Park, a trek through the Pocono Mountains, a swim in the Atlantic Ocean, all showing people the best parts of their relationship.

But what about after that? What about the dirt and grime that comes with being with someone day in and day out?

I often hear from friends about how they get jealous of other people’s relationships. How often others travel, how much money they make (or appear to make). Much of that jealousy, I believe, comes from social media and its highlight reel appeal.

When you watch programs like Sportscenter, you often only the see the best plays in a game. A step back three from Steph Curry or an impossible pass by LeBron James. But rarely does it show the play by play. It never shows Steph Curry missing 7 shots before he makes one, or LeBron getting a pass intercepted. It shows what’s appealing to people who may not be as invested in a particular game or sport, the parts that are pleasing and don’t take a lot of time to examine. Relationships are much the same way.

Seeing the best of people’s relationships on social media can be appealing and make you yearn for that temporary, showcased bliss. It’s natural. As people, we want to experience the best of every situation, without going through what lies underneath. We want to experience the best people have to offer without having to deal with the situations that got them to a point where they can bring something of substance to a relationship. We want the pictures in Central Park, without stepping in the trash that lines the sidewalks along the way.

Relationships are hard. Growing with someone and overcoming their challenges at the same time they do, is hard. It can be frustrating when people post the best of their marriage or relationship while you’re going through the worst of yours, but it’s better to focus on the game you’re playing — the bad plays, the dunks, the injuries, the touchdowns — than to pay too close attention to what’s happening on another field.