This month I shared the stories of readers and what made them stay in relationships that were toxic and hurtful, what made them leave, and their process of letting go. I gave you four different stories by individuals (including myself) who have reached the other side of those journeys. These stories started off as toxic, fearful, disappointed, and emotionally abusive-all in the name of love. These stories ended with empowerment, freedom, a sense of self-worth, and self-love-in the process of becoming renewed!
But when each of the four looked back at their stories and their relationships that they knew should come to an end, they stayed longer than they should’ve because of internal battles that they were to overcome. Things that they too had to go through to get to where they are now- whole individuals.
One thing I did was complain a lot in my last relationship. I would complain to anyone who would listen. However, my girlfriend would remind me (as any real friend would) that I allowed his actions and I approved them simply by staying. God could turn things around for my good, but it started with me. I, first, had to let go! And the same goes for Rose, Ra, Tahj, and YOU.
Becoming The New You
However, as author and blogger, Mark Manson states in his article How to Grow From Your Pain, it’s what comes after that hurt that matters. In general, every experience we have is “Something we had to go through to grow”, as Heather Headly stated in her early 2000s ballad In My Mind.
It’s fair to say that moving into a new relationship an new opportunities for growth, we will not stand for the same things we once did. Our new found levels of self-love and awareness won’t allow us to live the same BS twice.
On the other hand, it’s also fair to say that we will put up with some things, but those are the things that will determine just how far we’ve come. We truly don’t know yourself until you are tested. It is then that you will be surprised.
That is why, in April, I am going to explore self-love and growth. I want to explore how we’ve grown from life’s obstacles. How have you reached your highest level of self-love and gratitude?
April marks my 35 year on this earth, it’s an appropriate time for self-exploration and reflection. 20 more days and counting! Lol!