If you haven’t caught up on the Insecure phenomena, consider yourself… well, don’t. Just don’t consider yourself at all. At least not until you’ve crawled from under that rock. Just in case you find yourself somewhere other than tuned in on Sunday nights at 10:30 p.m. est. Insecure is the HBO series that birth the hashtag controversy #teamLawerence and #teamIssa.
So that I don’t give away too much of the plot for those who will read this and then start watching, there is a scene where Issa (the main character, creator, and writer) goes onto Lawernce’s (her ex) Facebook page only to find out that she is blocked. Her alter ego goes into her signature rap montage in the bathroom mirror about how petty he is and how he has some nerve to block her after she held him down for five years.
Well, she IS the one that cheated on him, so I can understand why he would’ve blocked her. Still, after being undeservingly blocked by my last ex, I have this question:
Should we or shouldn’t we block/ unfriend our exes on social media?
I’ve actually been blocked on several occasions. If I’m honest, I probably deserved to be blocked on at least one of them. Ok, maybe two.
I tend to follow, however, the school of thought that blocking people and unfriending people in cyberspace is #petty all day! I don’t even think that hard about people I should unfriend or block. Usually, social media doesn’t reflect one’s entire life, so I don’t give it that much power.
On the other hand, I was totally offended when this last ex of mine blocked me. In my eyes it was unwarranted and undeserved. Granted, I broke things off with him, but for good reason. From my perspective, I held him down. I looked out for him. I was that chick! And when he just WOULDN’T get right, I let it all go. No, I didn’t pull an Issa and get some from an old fling. I just walked away. And I was the one to get blocked. Ha! Not only did he block me, but he blocked everyone associated with me. To make matters worse, he is still friends with all his other exes except me! I was the one that he claimed made him happiest.
It keeps getting better! Not only were him and his exes still friends but he also still had pictures posted of them. These are the women that he complained so much about. So, here’s my next question:
When a relationship ends, should you delete all pics from your profile that display the relationship, or do you just sum it up as part of your past and move on? How would your next partner feel about you still posting photos from your past? (these are all topics for later posts).
That being said, there I was- allowing something that wasn’t even a huge deal for me, cause a “TF” reaction in me. I began obsessing and asking rhetorical questions like- “What is he hiding?” It has to be something because he even went through to all of my friends and blocked them too. “Does he not want something to get back to me? Or, did I hurt him that badly that he doesn’t want any remembrance of me?”
When a relationship ends, should you delete all pics from your profile that display the relationship, or do you just sum it up as part of your past and move on?
Fast forward a few months, I get it! After I saw post from his friends and family with him and his new chick, I had to re-think my stance. This mess isn’t healthy! No, I wasn’t stalking. I was simply scrolling through my timeline and saw pictures that his uncle had posted of him and the new chick. I was doing just fine. I was no longer thinking about him, and I thought I had moved on. With just a scroll up, I was suddenly catapulted back into a state of anger, hurt, and the feeling of betrayal. I mean you moved on quickly partner. I was back to wondering thing such as, “Was she the reason you blocked me?”
Then reminded myself that I broke up with him for a reason. And that reason still exists. It actually became a sigh of relief when my girl told me that “his issues are now some other woman’s problem”.
Here’s my recommendation: if the break up is fresh or if you may be suffering from some residual effects, by all means, delete, delete, delete! Maybe a few months, or years for some, you can re-visit being cyber friends with that person if you desire. That constant reminder is an unhealthy one.
So, let me get out of my Issa moment and put my ego aside. He was right to delete me. I just wish I would’ve deleted him first! #P-E-T-T-Y!… I know (shoulder shrug).