Ok, so no one likes rejection! And we have all been rejected in one way or another. We didn’t get the job, didn’t make the team, or was the last one picked to play at recess. Unfortunately, rejection is that one possibility that can crush a person’s spirit if they allow it- especially in dating. When it comes to dating that rejection comes in all forms; from the easy let down to pulling a Houdini. And none of it feels good.
But there’s always a silver lining. In the case of rejection, I like to see it as God trying to protect me from something that I am pretty sure I’m better off without.
Let’s go with that notion for this next story (you can later decide whether or not I’m right).
Not to sound cliché, but when grandma said “idol hands are the devils playground”, she wasn’t lying. Initially on this particular weekend, I was supposed to be in Virginia with a guy who had shown his ass that week, so I backed out of the trip. And with nothing to do on a Saturday, I renewed my subscription to Match. I began to read some of the messages that had been sent to me within the past two months when I was on a hiatus from browsing on-line dating sites (I never really went out on dates with the men I encountered via the web).
While scrolling, I notice there was one fella who had sent two messages within that very same week, asking how my week was. After reviewing his profile, I thought that he may be descent. He seemed to be the adventurous type. His profile, as did mine, displayed pictures of him skydiving. I figured a little conversation wouldn’t hurt.
I replied to one of his messages telling him that I had a blessed week. After I sent the message, I decided to go see a movie. However, my movie didn’t start for another two hours, so I re-opened my laptop and to my surprise, I saw that he had replied to my message within minutes kicking it up a notch, “It’s a beautiful day, how about meeting up for some coffee and enjoying the day with company…” At the end of it he left his phone number. So, I decided “what the heck”, and I text him, thinking that would be the quickest way for me to get in touch with him, “I’m sure it is too late for coffee, but how about dessert?”
He texted back and our date was slated for 2pm.
I have never enjoyed riding around for long periods of time looking for parking, so I grabbed the first parking spot about a 10 minute walk away from the meeting point (oh the agony of driving in DC). This walk caused me to be just a little late, possibly, maybe that is what pissed him off… but I’ll get to that in a moment.
With this being my first on-line date, I called my DC god-mother, as I was walking, to tell her where I was and the name of the guy I was with- just as a precaution. I mean technically, I was meeting a stranger off the freaking internet (those were my thoughts at the time).
I finally reach my destination and I text him, “Hey, I’m here.” I wait for about five minutes before a silver Porsche pulls up and parks illegally. He approaches me and addresses me by my username.
He was tall with a caramel complexion, 35 years old, thinning hair toward the front of his head, AND pigeon toed. But, it’s just dessert, right?
As we were waiting on a table, we covered the basics, you know, “What brought you to DC”, to “What do you do”. Now that I’m thinking about it, maybe he didn’t like what I did as a profession on a day to day..possibly? Just wait… I’m getting there.
As time goes on, he asks me whether or not I enjoy festivals and tells me about the Taste of Bethesda, which ironically was happening that very same day and asked if I would like to join him and a few of his friends. I didn’t mind. So, I asked him how we would get there. Of course he said he’d drive. I had a small dilemma- I had parked at a two hour meter. With a wave of his hand, he gestured no worries and told me that he would take me to my car so that I could move it to some place safe. He took pride in saying that since he lived in Georgetown, he knew all the places where one could park and be okay.
As I was giving him directions to my car I noticed the music oozing out of his speakers. I asked him what kind of music he listened to. He named off some artists that I had never heard of. He then told me that he would listen to anything and he turned on the radio. I guess he could sense that I wasn’t feeling his taste in music (it’s possible that I offended him by not liking his taste in music). He made a few wrong turns on the straight shot to my car, but once we got to my car I asked him, “Now, you promise that you are not going to allow me to park somewhere that would result in a ticket?” (or how dare I question his Georgetown parking expertise). He assured me that he was not. As I got out of the car and turned around to walk towards my car door, he immediately sped off!!! Yes! Sped off, you heard me correctly.
My initial thought was “If I’m supposed to be following him, I don’t think that he would be driving that fast”.
Clearly, this story was a form of rejection; one of the wildest forms might I add. He could have at least ‘renigged’ on the offer, that would’ve been a bit more tasteful, don’t you think? Anyways, in that moment I could’ve let it upset me and put a bad taste in my mouth. But, I believe he was doing me a favor. I have no way of knowing why he sped off and with an a few minutes until my movie, I just chopped it up to “Oh well” and went on with my initial plans- can you say a ‘Me, Myself, and I Movie Date’ ten times fast? 🙂
Rejection stories are never the best to tell; especially when it comes to dating. But own it. You didn’t do it to you. Someone else did. Someone who most likely knows nothing about what makes you so great! So, tell your ego to chill and sum it up to “that just didn’t go as expected”. You can even tell yourself that the person who rejected you is an asshole. Do whatever you need to do to get you over the hump. We get stuck when we allow rejection to stop us from getting back out there and trying it again. Don’t shy away from dating because one person didn’t respond the way that you thought they should. It’s that fear of rejection can make us miss out on some of the best things in life. Just imagine if you didn’t go on that next interview because you go turned down from the last job prospect.
How do you tastefully and honestly let someone down?